Christmas Woes
by Madam'zelleGiry
Summary: Albus has decided that it's high time for his staff to get into the Christmas spirit whether they like it or not.


**Written for homework set by Professor Monse at Hogwarts Online II.**

**Prompts: Mistletoe, apple cider, tradition, storm, dance, kiss, hot chocolate, surprise, time with family, silent night, carolers, Christmas Eve**

**Just a bit of Christmas fun! Hope that you enjoy!**

_On the first day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me the perfect answer for my remedy._

Severus Snape groaned aloud at the sight of the monstrous pile of Third Year homework that sat on his desk, just waiting for his undivided attention. Sometimes he wondered why he kept this job. He gave a heaving sigh as he dropped into his chair and summoned his good quill from the inkwell. It was a basic assignment about the properties of dragon's blood; it should have been among the simplest tasks in the book. And yet these blasted students seemed utterly clueless. Why did he subject himself to this frustration every day?

Shaking his head, he realized that the work was hopeless and would only cause him more grief. He sighed and threw his quill down on the desk. He'd finish this tomorrow. The students would just have to wait to get the assignments back and he had a sneaking suspicious that most of them (save Granger, probably) wouldn't care anyway. He leaned back in his chair and shook his head at the sight of the calendar that hung on the wall next to his desk. It was the end of November. The Christmas season was fast approaching them and that always meant that the castle would be full of 'Christmas cheers' and all sorts of related whatnot. Frankly, he didn't have time for such nonsense, what with the end of term and having to worry about the Wolfsbane. He would have been perfectly satisfied if everyone would just -

He shook his head as he suddenly remembered that he was due to pick up a package from Poppy regarding the medicinal potions she had been requesting. He would just have to tell her the truth; he hadn't finished yet. It wasn't exactly his fault that he had run out of one of the ingredients and couldn't find more. She should have given him more warning. Stepping out into the hall, he hissed under his breath as he nearly tripped over something on the floor. It was a package that was neatly wrapped with brown paper at his feet. Snape picked it up and carried it inside, wondering what in the world was going on now. When he tore the paper from the box, he discovered that inside were several sprigs of mistletoe. Now, any other man would have gotten the wrong message about this gift. But Severus Snape knew exactly who this was from and why she had sent it. And he hated himself for appreciating the fact that she had thought of him.

You see, Poppy had depleted her supply of several basic potions and she had specifically requested that Snape brew a batch of a cold and flu remedy. However, mistletoe was one of the key ingredients in the potion and mistletoe was one thing that he did not have in his cupboards; he had used up his stock in a particularly disastrous lesson with a group of Hufflepuff First Years. Mistletoe was powerful stuff and it was difficult to find at the apothecary for some reason, Merlin only knew why. But now that he had the ingredient, he could get started on the potion straightaway.

A little voice at the back of his mind whispered that perhaps Christmas wasn't all bad after all. But he shook the thought from his mind and swept down towards the dungeons to begin the brewing. He had work to do.

_On the second day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

Minerva McGonagall shivered slightly at the draft that swept through the Great Hall. It was the beginning of December and she could tell that the students were beginning to grow restless. The very idea that the holidays were just around the corner seemed to wipe any trace of knowledge from their little minds, which was a fact that she and the other staff members found to be quite annoying. Still. It would all be over soon enough and the bulk of the student body would be home for the holiday season.

"Minerva," She jumped slightly and glanced up to see Severus standing next to her chair at the staff table.

"Severus," she greeted him with a nod, clasping her icy fingers tightly around a mug of hot cider that rested on the table.

"I wanted to thank you for the mistletoe." He said, glancing down the staff table at their colleagues. "It was just what I needed for Poppy's potion. Wherever did you find it?"

"Why, Severus." She said, shaking her head in amazement. "This time of year, it's more difficult to stay away from such a well known plant."

"I suppose that's true." Severus shrugged. "In any case, thank you." And he extended his hand to her, which she took with a look of suppressed astonishment.

_On the third day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me three tasty cookies, two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

Severus Snape flowed down the hall towards the dungeons, his mind focused on current brewing projects. Between the monthly Wolfsbane and Poppy's request, he had plenty to keep him busy. Thankfully there were no class periods to worry about today; Albus had given him time off to focus on the Wolfsbane, as he had been doing every month. It was nearly time for Remus to take it and it wasn't quite ready yet. Brewing the potion was a delicate art form and there was no margin for error.

Finally reaching his destination, he threw open his storage cupboards, glancing at the titles of bottles and boxes before finding the rest of the mistletoe that Minerva had sent him. Poppy's potion required just enough of the stuff to make it turn a bright cherry red and it would be finished. His silver knife flashed and danced as he dexterously minced the leaves into the ideal size of a 1/8th of an inch. Carefully, he sprinkled the result into the cauldron, watching carefully for the color to change. When it did, he hastily set the cutting board aside and removed it from the flames so that it would be easier to bottle.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

A short while later he was in the hospital wing setting the bottles of potion onto Poppy's desk. "Thank you so much, Severus." She said, eyeing the bottles with a relieved expression. "It'll be so helpful to have this around."

Snape gave a curt nod as he turned to go. Friendly matters were not his forte.

"Oh, Severus!"

He turned back, trying to keep from looking too annoyed at her. "Yes, Poppy?"

"Would you care for a biscuit?" She gestured to a plate of cookies that sat on the desk near to her right hand. They were colorfully decorated for the holidays, boasting of bright reds and greens with a substantial amount of ball bearings to add a bit of contrast.

He stared blankly at the plate for a moment, looking as though he was not quite sure what to do with it.

"It's traditional to bake cookies this time of year," she said slowly, as though speaking to a child. "I thought that you might enjoy one."

"Thank you, Poppy." Almost reluctantly, he selected a small cookie from the platter and popped it into his mouth. It was good.

_On the fourth day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me four growing storm clouds, three tasty cookies, two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

Minerva McGonagall looked up from the Transfiguration essays she had been grading to stare absently out the window at the growing mass of threatening clouds that promised a snowstorm before the night was over. As if they really needed more snow; the drifts in the grounds already were beginning to reach the lowest windows of the castles. She shook her head as she returned her gaze to the essays. Snow was one thing that she disliked about the Christmas season. It was too wet, too cold. Too inconvenient.

She heard a popping sound as the fire in her hearth turned green and the head of the tiny Charms teacher appeared. "Filius," said Minerva, who barely glanced up from her work.

"Minerva," squeaked Professor Flitwick. "Albus is requesting that you join us in the Great Hall. He is preparing the decorations for the holiday season."

"Isn't that a job for the house elves?" Minerva tried not to show her aggravation with Albus. This would be just like him to keep the staff busy when they already had so much to do during the holiday season.

"Albus has decided that he is in a festive mood this year." said Filius, as though that cleared the matter up. And, oddly enough, it did.

_On the fifth day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me five grudging smiles, four growing storm clouds, three tasty cookies, two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

Albus Dumbledore took another draft of pumpkin juice from his goblet as he danced back and forth to the Christmas carols that were being magically magnified throughout the Great Hall. Then he frowned over the top of his glasses as he glanced over to see Minerva and Severus in the middle of a heated argument, Minerva clasping a long, red and purple scarf. What in the name of Merlin was going on here? Somehow, he was beginning to think that he didn't really want to know.

"The fact of the matter remains that it wasn't my idea." snarled Severus, resisting her advances as she tried to shove the scarf in his face.

"What does it matter?" demanded Minerva, who seemed equally determined not to let go. "You still have to deliver it."

"Severus. Minerva." Albus didn't even attempt to physically pull them apart as he whipped out his wand and waved it threateningly in their general direction. Grudgingly, they turned to face him, probably very aware of the fact that the spell he was contemplating would not have a positive result. "Do I even want to know what is going on here?"

Severus refused to look at Minerva, which was a gesture that Albus considered to be dreadfully childish and uncalled for, no matter what the situation was. "Perhaps you should speak to Miss Lovegood." He said in a low voice. "It was her idea for one of us to deliver this." He gestured unceremoniously towards the scarf. "To _dear_ Professor Lupin."

Albus felt a smile spread across his face. "Why that was a lovely idea. To be quite honest, Severus, I really don't see what the problem is."

"The problem," said Minerva. "is that Miss Lovegood desired that Severus be the one to deliver it. And Severus wouldn't be caught dead with such an object, no matter what Miss Lovegood said."

"Why Severus." said Albus, spreading his arms out wide. "It's nearly Christmas. Surely you can swallow your pride and your disputes with Remus long enough to embrace the good feelings of this wonderful season."

Severus looked as though the very thought of "embracing the good feelings of this wonderful season" was comparable to the agony of a Potions lesson with the third years. "Headmaster," he said carefully. "I really don't feel that Professor Lupin would accept such a gift if it came from me."

"Nonsense," said Albus, giving Minerva a warning look as the witch seemed ready with a witty comeback. "I insist that you head straight on to Professor Lupin's office straightaway. And perhaps Minerva would be willing to accompany you."

Minerva's face was a block of unemotional stone as she nodded. Severus reluctantly accepted the scarf from her hands but he could have sworn that she gave him the tiniest of smiles. How peculiar…

_On the sixth day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me six murderous glances, five grudging smiles, four growing storm clouds, three tasty cookies, two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

Remus Lupin gratefully returned the smoking goblet to Severus after he had drained the Wolfsbane. "Thank you Severus. And thank you for the scarf."

Severus chose to ignore the mischievous glint in the other man's eyes. "I'm only performing the tasks set to me by the headmaster, Lupin. If it were my own decision, I would have nothing to do with it."

"But I am grateful nonetheless. I am simply not capable of brewing the potion on my own." Remus looked to be sincere but Severus chose not to notice. "I hope that you are enjoying the holiday season. Have you had the good fortune to get caught under the mistletoe yet?"

Severus looked at Remus is utter disbelief. Had the man lost his mind? Was this yet another symptom of the werewolf within? "Good fortune?"

"Come now, Severus. Surely even a man like you would not pass up the opportunity for a kiss from a pretty woman."

Severus shook his head incredulously. "What an incredible man you are, Lupin. You've obviously not changed since your schooldays."

"And neither have you."

_On the seventh day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me seven evil plans, six murderous glances, five grudging smiles, four growing storm clouds, three tasty cookies, two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

Albus happily poured himself a mug of hot cocoa from a nearby pitcher. He brought the mug up to his nose, inhaling the sweet smell of chocolate. "There's nothing quite like a mug of hot cocoa to start the morning off right." He declared to no one in particular. "Delicious."

It was one week until Christmas and many of the students were preparing to leave for the holidays. Christmas was in the air and there was no feeling that Albus Dumbledore enjoyed more. If only he could say the same for his colleagues…

Severus had eaten quickly and then stolen away to the dungeons, muttering something about preparing a lesson. Minerva hadn't even bothered to come down to eat; he had no idea what was going on with her. All he knew was that it was his duty as headmaster to make sure that his staff was happy. And he had a plan. Oh, yes. He had a plan all right. This was going to be one of the most memorable Christmases of all time.

_On the eighth day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me eight dismayed teachers, seven evil plans, six murderous glances, five grudging smiles, four growing storm clouds, three tasty cookies, two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

The next morning, most of the students had departed for their homes and the few that remained were tucked away in their dormitories, enjoying the chance to sleep in a bit. But Albus Dumbledore had decided not to extend that privilege to his staff members. Today would be the first part of his diabolical and foolproof plan to bring the Christmas spirit to Hogwarts.

He had gathered the staff in the staffroom so that there would be no chance of the students disturbing them. Minerva sat in her preferred armchair and pretended to read that morning's issue of the _Daily Prophet_. Severus leaned against the mantelpiece, staring into the fire and pretending not to be there. Poppy sat on the couch next to Filius, chatting quietly about nothing in particular. Pomona seemed to be cleaning some kind of garden tool; it looked like a spade but the tool was so covered in dirt that it was impossible to tell for sure. Remus had declined the invitation for obvious reasons and he had barely batted an eyelash when Sybil had also declined. The other members of staff had requested time off for the holidays, which he had gladly granted.

"You all know why I've called you here." Albus began grandly. "Well. Some of you know. But I would like to talk to all of you about the lack of Christmas spirit around this castle." He paused for dramatic effect but his intended targets refused to look at him. "Christmas is a time to spend with family. And, of course, we are just like a family. We fight, we laugh, and we spend the better part of each year with each other. It's time we all started acting like a family. So I am organizing a gift exchange. Surprise!" He swept his pointed hat from his head and brandished it for all to see. "I have placed all of your names into my very fine hat. I would like each of you to draw a name and prepare a gift for that person. It must be given on Christmas Eve. Come now! Form a queue!"

Slowly, the line began to form, some of his colleagues moving more eagerly than others. One by one, they filed through the line until only Severus and Minerva were left. "Come, come!" he said, with a quick flick of his wand. When they grudgingly selected their papers, he could tell by their faces that the plan was working splendidly. Let the games begin!

_On the ninth day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me nine bright ideas, eight dismayed teachers, seven evil plans, six murderous glances, five grudging smiles, four growing storm clouds, three tasty cookies, two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

Minerva looked distastefully down at the slip of paper in her hand as she walked back to her office. Leave it to Albus to come up with something like this. And he probably loaded the deck to make sure that she ended up with Severus. Something told her that Albus was unlikely to let her out of this one easily. She would have to come up with something, whether she liked it or not. Time with family indeed…

Down at the staff lounge, Severus was arguing it out with Albus. "Of all the stupid ideas you've come up with, Albus -"

"But Severus!" protested Albus. "Surely you will enjoy this little game. It's not so bad. All you have to do is come up with a gift for whoever is on your slip of paper."

"You know exactly who is on my slip of paper." He growled. "Because you planned it to work out like that."

Albus shook his head, the picture of innocence. "But Severus,"

Severus clenched his teeth as he swept out of the staffroom. Down the hall, he could hear a small group of first years singing a carol for the occupants of some painting. Silent night indeed…

_On the tenth day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me ten helpful students, nine bright ideas, eight dismayed teachers, seven evil plans, six murderous glances, five grudging smiles, four growing storm clouds, three tasty cookies, two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

Minerva heard the same group of carolers pass by her office door. In spite of herself, they brought a smile to her face. Sweet children were trying to cheer up the staff. Perhaps she could put a bit of an effort into this Christmas business after all. But before she could entertain that thought for very long, there was a timid knock at the door. "Come in,"

The door opened to reveal Miss Lovegood. "Excuse me Professor," she said in her singsongy way. "But one of the paintings told me about your gift exchange. Could I help you with yours?"

Minerva McGonagall frankly didn't know what to say to that. "Well…" she said slowly. Then she relaxed her tightened shoulders. It would be much easier with the help of this girl. She could probably come up with something better anyway. "That would be lovely, Miss Lovegood. What did you have in mind?"

"For Professor Snape?"

Minerva didn't even flinch at the question. Of course the girl would be that well informed.

"I had an idea that I think would be just perfect."

_On the eleventh day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me eleven expert shoppers, ten helpful students, nine bright ideas, eight dismayed teachers, seven evil plans, six murderous glances, five grudging smiles, four growing storm clouds, three tasty cookies, two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

Albus smiled to himself as he listened to the sound of silence in his office. It was December 23rd, so close to Christmas Eve that he could almost taste it. The door knocked and he glanced up, helping himself to a sugar cookie from the plate on his desk. "Come in,"

Severus entered, clasping a box under his robes. He looked slightly embarrassed to be there but seemed determined nonetheless. "Headmaster," he greeted sullenly. "I wonder if I could get your opinion on this gift for Minerva."

"Why, of course, Severus! Let's see what it is."

Severus set the box down on the desk and opened it to reveal a potion that would do wonders on anyone's hair. "I thought that she might enjoy the chance to…" he cleared his throat awkwardly. "Let her hair down. So to speak."

"Why, she'll love it, Severus! All the more because it comes from you!"

_On the twelfth day of Christmas, my colleague gave to me twelve thankful friends, eleven expert shoppers, ten helpful students, nine bright ideas, eight dismayed teachers, seven evil plans, six murderous glances, five grudging smiles, four growing storm clouds, three tasty cookies, two tongue-tied handshakes and the perfect answer for my remedy._

Severus cleared his throat nervously as he looked at his watch. Albus had given him permission to exchange gifts with Minerva in private. He hoped that it would be somewhat less awkward without the prying glances of their colleagues.

She arrived right on time, clasping a tartan wrapped gift box in one hand, looking slightly embarrassed. "Severus,"

"Minerva," They stood uncomfortably for a long moment before he summoned up the courage to hold out his gift box. "For you,"

She accepted it gracefully, holding out her own box in return. Slowly, they each tore away the paper to reveal the gift inside. Minerva tried to hide her joy at the potion; it was just what she needed. And Severus couldn't hide a smile as he unwrapped a long red and green scarf. "Merry Christmas, Minerva."

"Merry Christmas, Severus."

**Maybe a bit of a cheesy ending but sweet nonetheless! Hope you enjoyed and a very merry Christmas to all!**


End file.
